Impact of Job Loss on Marital Relationships

Last week I spoke with radio host Laura Ingraham about recession depression and the way that married relationships suffer in severe, economic downturns.
The folks who called into the show were in situations we’ve all experienced at one time or another. One caller had just lost his job and he and his wife found themselves fighting more. Another caller owned a business that had dried up over the last two years. His wife’s company was laying off employees, so they both were living with gut wrenching loss and uncertainty.

Economic pressure can tear a marriage apart. I see it in my practice every day. In these kinds of situations, it is crucially important for spouses to communicate both their negative and positive feelings.

My advice to spouses:

Set some basic ground rules for talking with each other. One, agree that neither party will storm out in anger or frustration, but will stay and hear the other out no matter how rough the conversation. Set aside a time each week to talk about money.

Try and talk about your own attitudes and feelings using “I” statements like, “I feel so bad things have gotten worse,” rather than, “Without your salary we’re doomed!”

Let the children know there are some difficult issues you are actively working on together, that nothing is their fault and that together you are making a plan to make going forward better.

Focus not only on active listening and communication, but also on taking care of yourself by NOT falling into the bad stress habits of overeating and drinking or kicking the dog. Take a long walk with a supportive friend or by yourself and focus on what you have in your life that gives you faith that better days will come.

Thanks to Laura for having me on the show.

 

Maggie Baker, Ph. D.
Psychologist – Financial Therapist
Author of Crazy About Money: “How Emotions Confuse Our Money Choices And What To Do About It”.