The Tricky Art of Tipping – Why Do We Tip Some Jobs Over Others?
You are out for a nice dinner with a new friend and you are in a very good mood. The server for your table is cordial and upbeat. As the meal progresses the server brings your soup, but it’s cold. When you bring it to her attention she apologizes, takes it back to the kitchen but forgets it. A few minutes later she shows up with the main course. At this point you are mildly annoyed and don’t want the soup. The main course is delicious. Shortly after dessert the bill arrives.
You need to figure out a percentage tip. How? Do you lower the percent because she forgot your soup? Do you increase it because the rest of the meal was good and she was cordial? Do you add 2% more because she is working and you are out having a good time she might might envy? And 2% more because you have a lot more disposable income? And 2% more because you want to show your friend what a good guy you are?
The machinations can go on for a long time or until you get sick of trying to figure it out and, in frustration, you finally conclude 17% expresses your overall sentiment.
What is the big deal here? It’s too bad we don’t do server pay the way they do it in Holland. I’ll never forget when I had a fine dinner in Amsterdam, gave a 20% tip and had the server kneeling at my feet. I found out later that servers are salaried and have health benefits through their government. 20% on top of a decent salary is as good as it gets!
Think of tipping as an interpersonal event, with cultural expectations. When you go to a doctor or lawyer you pay a fee for their expertise and their recommendations. The fee is usually high and there is no cultural expectation of a tip. As a matter of fact, if you were to tip it might be thought of as a bribe to get better treatment or better advice and could be looked down on or even scorned. The core of the professional transaction is a service that involves evaluation, judgment and recommendations.
When you go to a restaurant the server is performing the personal but routine function of delivering your food. They might offer a recommendation of which “special” is really good, but the advice will only affect your subjective experience of the meal and has no lasting consequence, unless, of course, you get food poisoning or have an allergic reaction. It’s a horrible thought to think that a robot could serve, just as a robot will probably eventually be driving our cars.
In other words, the actual function is not hard. However, because serving is an interpersonal event and affects people’s immediate experience, how this function is performed becomes important. If a server is good at “reading people” and senses when to be present, when to stand back, how to pace the meal, how much to talk and how much to listen and when to apologize or not, they will have made a good impression on the customer and have gone much further than any robot could of increasing the pleasure of the experience. When a server facilitates your pleasure and good time at the meal, they deserve to be rewarded for their attentiveness to your needs at the higher end of the tipping range. If they have not, then the lower range may be what you might choose.
So far, I’ve only discussed restaurant tipping. The same principles apply to tipping a cab driver, your hair stylist or anyone else who performs a personal service for you that you appreciate and wish to acknowledge.
What other professions do you use the art of tipping for? …